Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, but if you’re a new ostomate, you may be dreading the day. Many people who have recently had ostomy surgery have self-image issues, including depression, shame about how their body feels and appears, and fear of pain, leakage, being naked with a pouch, and being rejected because of the changes to their body.
No matter how you feel, share those feelings with your partner, and be open and honest about what you’re going through. The more honest you can be, the more opportunity they’ll have to understand and to help you adjust to the new normal.
Ostomates can most certainly have happy and healthy sex lives. You may have to adjust your positions slightly, but you can experiment with what feels comfortable for you and feel satisfied with the results. Again, open communication with your partner is key to making the experience work.
It may help you feel more engaged if you empty your pouch before you hit the bedroom, so you won’t feel like it’s getting in the way. You can also change to a smaller pouch so it will move less and be less “obvious” to you. Your ostomy nurse can let you know what options are available to you.
Better yet, why not invest in clothing made especially for those intimate moments? SIIL Ostomy has a full line of apparel designed by ostomates for ostomates, so you know you’ll be getting what you need.
One thing you can try is an ostomy wrap. These soft and stretchy garments fit around your waist and offer gentle support, keeping your pouch stable against your body, so it doesn’t move or get in the way. Some styles even have a pocket in front to hold the pouch flat and provide a little extra support. You can wear these during intimate moments, knowing that you won’t have any leakages or other interference from your ostomy.
If you’re ready to take the next step, SIIL also offers ostomy lingerie to help you and your partner get in the mood. Whether you opt for a classic style or something with a bit of lace, the line consists of a wrap/panty combination with a unique opening in the intimate part that you can open and close at will, while still supporting the pouch. The lingerie offers all the advantages of a wrap with the look and needs for your most intimate moments.
No matter where you are in your ostomy journey, make this Valentine’s Day a special one with SIIL’s unique line of apparel. SIIL Ostomy is based in Madrid, Spain, but ships internationally. And their customer service is first-rate. If you ever have a question or a problem, let them know, and they’ll go out of their way to make sure you and your ostomy are well taken care of.
Full disclosure: Miriam Ruff is an ambassador for and an affiliate of SIIL Ostomy. She advocates for ostomates on their behalf.
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